Losing a loved one and the bereavement that follows can be overwhelming, painful, and hard to cope with. The process of grief and loss can be different for each person. Emotionally, heartache can express itself through isolation, deep sadness, fear, shock, guilt, or anxiety. Physically, grief can take a toll on your body. You may become fatigued, unable to get out of bed, tearful, have difficulty sleeping, or lose your appetite. Internally, you may isolate yourself from your friends and family or have a spiritual crisis and ask God why this hardship happened. In processing your grief and the emotional, physical, and internal struggles that can follow, the counselors at Fortify can come alongside you as you begin the healing process.
Grief is Not Linear
One important component to remember when struggling with a loss is to remember that processing bereavement does not move in a straight line. There are no specific steps to follow or a process that fits everyone. As each human created in God’s image is unique, each individual’s path to healing and loss is unique. Some may take 6 months to heal, some may take 6 years. Some may experience anger, while some may not be able to feel at all. And some may seek out help from friends and family, while some may isolate themselves. Grief is not linear; everyone has different emotions, stages, and ways of processing.
Processing your Grief with a Counselor
As trained clinicians, counselors at Fortify will process with you as you grieve in your unique way. Some pathways you can process your grief with a Fortify counselor are:
Express Your Emotions
- Allowing yourself to communicate your emotions can help you to process through the deep anguish you feel inside. Bottling up your anger, sadness, and grief only delays healing. Allow yourself to cry, express anger, and voice your loss openly with your counselor or a trusted loved one. Acklowedgeing your hurt will allow you the space to recognize your feelings and let them out.
Verbal Processing
- Sharing your thoughts verbally is another way to process the complexities of bereavement. Expressing your thoughts of how you miss the one you lost, the complex guilt you may feel, or expressing your negative behaviors can provide relief. In processing your emotions and thoughts, your counselor can offer empathy and a support group to help you feel heard and understood.
Lean on Others
- A way that you can feel less isolated or alone in what feels like a lonely journey can be found by leaning on family, friends, or your church. Talking to others you trust can provide support and comfort in knowing you are not alone in your sorrow.
Ritual and Self-Care
- Creating a ritual can help you to find closure and a reminder of your loved one. Examples can be lighting a candle in their honor, planting a tree, or celebrating the life of the one you lost may honor their memory and provide some comfort and closure. Using self-care, like practicing gratitude or getting enough sleep, can also provide some comfort and peace in the complexity of things.
Coping Skills
- Being able to implement strategies that can bring joy and consistency can help in the process of healing. Exercise, eating healthy, weekly meetups with friends, journaling, meditation, and relaxation techniques can help center you when you feel like your grief is too much to handle.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-4 says, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.” Scripture reminds us that there is a time to weep and mour those we loved and lost. Ecclesiastes emphasizes that there is a time for each season, even when the season is a time of grief. It also says in the passage that there is a time to laugh and dance. I think that the two polar opposite seasons are highlighted here to remind us that lamenting and grieving are seasons. That it too shall pass. The grieving may be long, but scripture reminds us that it is for a season and that another season will come where there is joy and peace.
If you are experiencing grief or loss, please contact me today for a free consultation.
