Self-esteem is a concept that speaks to how we feel about ourselves. High self-esteem makes one feel confident, centered, and worthy of love. People with low self-esteem often feel shame and self-doubt. They often feel critical of themselves and don’t feel worthy of love or praise.
Signs of a Shattered Self-Esteem:
- Frequent negative self-talk
- Feeling inadequate in most situations
- Often feeling awkward in social settings
- A continued belief that you are not good enough
- Sensitive to criticism
- Intense fear of failure
Some of the signs above may help you identify if you are shattered by your negative thoughts and doubtful mindset. The good news is that self-esteem is something that can be changed by transforming your beliefs, behavior, and how you think about yourself. Your counselor can help you uncover your negative core beliefs and reconstruct your cognition to build your self-esteem
Counseling Tactics
Having a counselor in your corner can help you develop a healthier and more confident sense of self. He or she will help you connect the dots in your life, discover where your low self-esteem came from, and provide tools so you can absolve your negative beliefs and critical self-talk and replace them with self-love and self-compassion. Some of the clinician tactics below are treatment strategies to help you find confidence and understanding.
Exploring the Root Cause
- Once you and your counselor identify your presenting concerns and establish trust and safety, identifying the causes of your low self-image can bring awareness. Through exploring the genesis of your challenges, you can identify triggers that cause you to feel inadequate. Things like experiences, relationships, and societal pressures could have contributed to your shattered self-image. Knowing your triggers can help you to better combat your negative thoughts when they arise.
Cognitive Restructuring
- Through exploring the root cause and finding the trigger, you can now use cognitive restructuring to challenge the unhelpful thought patterns you experience and replace them with more rational and uplifting ones. Through practicing this technique, you can take control of your negative thoughts and rebuild your confidence.
Building Self-Esteem
- Once you have explored the underlying causes and reframed your thoughts, you can work towards building up your self-image. By collaborating with your counselor, you can establish achievable and realistic goals. Setting and achieving these goals can help you see your personal growth and tangible life changes.
Constructing a Positive Self-Image
- Through affirmations, support from others, and celebrating your achievements, you can construct a self-image that allows you to see yourself as God and others see you.
Seeing Yourself as Made in God’s Image
The foundation for which you were made is in the image of the one who created you. Knowing you were made in Imago Dei (Image of God) is the cornerstone of your counseling and confidence. Further, God calls us to look to his word and believe the truth found within to be how we view ourselves. The Biblical truth found in scripture urges you to believe that you are loved and chosen. That you are loved so much that Christ died on the cross for you. Therefore, when you are wrestling with feeling like enough or not feeling loved, know that God loved you enough to send his son to wash away your sins. Finally, Romans 12:2 says, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” This passage encourages you not to believe the lies of the world, your negative self-image, and the lies you have been told about yourself. Instead, Romans call you to transform your mind to the truths of God’s word.
If you suffer from low self-esteem and would like to explore treatment options, please reach out to me.
